Who..? My Name Is........

"I'm too sexy for my shirt"....well when it comes to our beloved Kuntal De...all I can say is right said fred..yes ladies and gentlemen..... you have seen the hunkadoodle on stage with his bare body and white guitar..looking all hmm hmm hmm.... dnt get ideas.. all of us are straight....you just feel a bit weird when you are on stage with this ab-oozing hunk right next to ya...while all you have is a family pack..if ya know what i mean...moving on..about kuntal da you can say..he is a real life clark kent..not because he has the obsession to wear his underwear on the outside or anything...just that the profession this guy follows does not go one bit with his rockstar attitude...well to break the ice here....Kuntal De..is a Jyotishi or a professional astrologer by day and the guitar jockey of Underground Authority by night..I mean not exactly by night all the time but you guys get the drift right.... and dont be fooled sweetheart, this guy is a true astrologer with a big office and everything and guess what, he does not come cheap...if you want your palm read..you better have your wallet full..and he is bloody good....he actually can scare the living fart out of you by saying things about your past,present and future....and they are all true..the freakiest thing he has done, which actually made me believe that this guy is some kind of wierd wizard or something is that..during IGT we were not told about the wild card round from before..you remember wild card right..KABHI KABHI ADITI...yeah thats all you get here..anyway..we were getting ready for the semi finals with RUKMINI...and I like a superstitious freak ask kuntal...are we gonna go up...he says in his typical baritone voice..No.and when i say barytone i dont mean like Amitabh Bacchan I mean Louis Armstrong..if you dont know who he is just check out his songs.... anyway i become all upset and as i tell the other guys they get all sad.. so like the four stooges we go to kuntal and say..so our journey ends here..so lets pack our bags and get ready to leave...this perpetual know it all says..but we are not going home yet..we are gonna go to the finals.....now all of us get pissed of thinking, he is just messing with us...do you know what happened we got voted out by the judges in the semi finals and then we were informed about the wild card and went up to the finals.....it was...FRE-EEE-AAA-KKKY...I am actually a bit afraid of him after that incident.....so this guy is good when it comes to both playing and predicting....well now comes the wave of boring details.....this guy is a sucker for dogs....infact he is father to two beautiful boxers...Pirate and Cindy..both of who hate our manager so I love his dogs....he is the only guy  I know who is not interested in sounding like a guitarist with a guitar but like a DJ....I mean we do not know how he gets those effects out....If you ask me, adil and him make a lethal duo....an amazing composer and has orgasms when hears dubstep and sai-trance...infact he is the reason why all us developed an interest towards those genres as well....has been a processional gamer and has played on the national level...in fact his gaming name is...STORM....mmmmm.... halley berry.....anyway no time to fantasize now..has also been a cricketer at some point and is always a hit with the LADIES...I mean you have no frigging clue how much female attention this bloke gets...oh you do!!....Now when you look at his pictures and you hear he is elder to us..you generally think that "ok...atleast this guy is not crazy and he is a sober minded person..with his rimless glasses on.."...well all I can say is...you wish...this dolt is the craziest fu**er amongst all of us...and he is the most unpredictable...this guy can do anything..in fact none of us know what he is thinking...I mean one moment he might be sitting in peace reading the newspaper and the next moment chasing epr with a razor to shave his eye-brows or something...see what I mean..Crazy is too subtle a term to describe him...now kuntal da is a true celebrity... you know why...?? he is the only guy who has a fake smile and it can mean "a lot of things"....I mean if you are a celeb you must have a fake smile....it goes like this..read the next sentence a little slowly in a deep voice and you will get my drift...." HA.HA.HA.HA"..and the amount of ha's do not alter.. wooohooo way to go kunti.....we call him GJ KUNTAL..He is the guitar jockey....and he has also won best guitar at Yamaha Asian Beats.....Now i was telling you about this guy's unpredictable nature...let me offer you guys a drag....

On a regular day we all meet at adil's place....you know to jam,make songs,write lyrics,plan out stuff,pick on the fat man..the usual things....now all of us are chilling at about 4:30..after a while epr,kuntal da, sourish leave... me adil and gujju are there..at about 9 pm me,adil and gujju plan to do a night out..you know go to someplace else..catch a bit of the old blues...then probably go to a night club and then get smashed..all of us instantly agreed to the venture..I mean how can you refuse an offer like that..I call up epr and sourish..they instantly agree...now I call up Kuntal da....the conversation follows....

Me-hello Kuntal da..
Kuntal da- yes bol...
Me- night out aaj..
Kuntal da-yeah.....
Me-yeah..
All of us on speaker- YYYEEEAAAHHHH....!!!!
Me- ok so meet us in park street..we are dinning at Peter Cat....
Kuntal da- alright..but there is a small problem
Me-what..?
Kuntal da- I am in delhi right now...
Me- what..?
All of us on speaker-WWHHHAAATT...??!!!!!
Kuntal da- yes...
Me- but you were with us at 5...its 10 now....i mean..how..what...why..HOW..??
(in his baritone voice.)
Kuntal da- caught the 7:25 flight...in delhi now
Me-why did ya go...office work..??
Kuntal da- no..
Me-then what..client....??
Kuntal da- no...
Me- then why...
Kuntal da- HA.HA.HA.HA...
(understand who may I switch off)
If you get my drift..then right now you are doing the same thing that I am doing..going...HA.HA.HA.HA...

thats all folks................see ya soon...and dont forget to comment...be part of the band... 

What?......My Name Is............

                      And in this corner weighing in....uumm never mind..this is not really the perfect way to introduce our beloved E.P.R..whom we know as...... Yagaswami Krishnaswami Santhanam Srinivasan Iyer..no wonder he is a rapper.... and the first rap he ever wrote was on the first line of an examination sheet....if you know what i mean......well moving on...the fist raising,aggressive,slogan chanting,angry young madass you generally see on stage or on your wall..too frequently if you ask me...is actually quite a softy....dont get me wrong all you twisted people...what i mean is our little Srini is actually a very sentimental,emotional,lovably irritating little twirp..aaawwww.....now now lets not hold hands here...but you really need to interact with the dolt to actually get to know how he is....freaky madass who loves to get into any sort of brawl with the fatman..you got it right he actually has the nerve to take me on..obviously he knows im not going to retaliate but our E.P.R loves to get into trouble and loves to piss ppl off..to be precise piss me off....he has done it all...poured tomato sauce on my head...toothpaste on my face...shaving cream on my belly....believe me it was neither a pretty sight nor a pleasant feeling......however no matter what he does he always gets away with it and that is exactly what i was talking about..its always his baccha attitude that saves his rear...you all can picture him as the ballon stealing kid with the big goo-goo eyes or spectacles in his case......Well i think you all know by now that you need to be partly screwed in the head and all insane to be a part of Underground Authority...and well this muchacho leads a whole pack of crazy asses.....i mean we just found out that in the past 6 months this guy bought 25 shirts and only one pair of jeans....dude seriously......couldnt have painted a better picture....well now lets bore you with some details like.
                                                                     Srini is as big a cartoon freak as adil and me....an amazing writer...a fairly good actor..i mean theatre...and a man with a lot of words in hand..and guess what they rhyme......is a thorough vegetarian..hahahaha.......at home.................afraid of dogs,beaches,the sea,crabs and well sometimes anything that moves voluntalrily or involutarily and has hair....hehe.....cmon you knew something like that was coming right....Anyway Srini has a huge obsession for shirts,gadgets,games..the biggest fan of Eminem there is and has waited infront of music world from 5 am to 10 am just to buy the first copy of 'Relapse'...and is the owner of the new IPHONE 4....yeah....
                                                                     The biggest shocking news is he is single.....and sometimes his singleness can make him a little well lets just give you guys a peek..........

    Me- hey where were you....
    Srini-arrey i dont feel good......i want a nice girl for myself  
    Me- Well you go on so many dates why dont you like any girl 
    Srini-they are not right..i was not feeling good since morning...
    Me- relax bro...you will find your princess one day..
    Srini-but when....... im tired..i was feeling so low since morning...
    Me- so what did ya do about it..
    Srini-Went to southcity and bought myself a new bag,shoes and 3 shirts..yyyeeeeaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

after something like this you dont reply..if you are sane that is..i mean i was actually sympathizing with the guy.....now you know how freaky this bloke is....fyi.. Underground Authority was born on his birthday..3rd april..woo hoo.....there is never enough space to tell you about this guy completely but well E.P.R.....is the energy source of the nuclear plant called UA.........cheers...c ya soon....guess what E.P.R stands for....???